Confidence
What i have to see in myself...
Confidence.
When I was little, I had confidence. I was not afraid. Performing, or bathroom or... anything, I was not afraid. Somehow I had confidence...
Once I grew up, I started to loose them. Long hours of driving or, long hours of concert, or even short concert or being in orchestra pit... knowing there are no bathroom... really bad. Mentaly horrable at it. I do play brain game with myself about this... but still.
However, mainly confidence in performing... What happend to me? I thought confidence is the thing you can build up while you learn something... for my case, flute, musicianship... Lately I just feel like I dont have confidence at all at this point... What have really happend to me. I was decently confidence... well not right now. I am afraid, worried... horrable things to do when you have to make music... There are so many beautiful and happy, exciting music out there, however, once it is under me... this piece of music becomes so sad, not slight of light there...
Am I not exciting person...? Am I not fun person...?
I dont this to come end. I love music and all emotions I get from them... Music is my life.
2010 is only 5th day in, and already I am facing a wall...
2 comments:
I can relate to this feeling. It's something I struggle with a lot. You are an AMAZING person with much to say. We just think so much, and express too little, maybe?
Trust me, you're incredible! You can break through that wall! <3
Morgann, Thanks :) I do think way too much... hope i can think way too much in 'positive' way... :)
<3
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